Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Charles "Bud" Lilledahl, Requiescat In Pace

Charles "Bud" Lilledahl, 1938-2013: En skisse/A Life sketch

by John E. Xavier 

     The extended Xavier family notes the passing of Charles "Bud" Lilledahl. Bud graced all of us with his presence for over 50 years as husband to Barbara (Xavier/Farrell), who survives. Bud was from Andover (Coon Rapids) in the Twin Cities area. Barbara is the daughter of 2nd Lt. Bjarne K. Xavier (1910-1944) and Violet (Hanson / Xavier) Farrell. Barbara is counted as yet another of the many grandchildren of Rev. Karl Xavier and Bina (Kamrud) Xavier, parents of Bjarne. 
     Also surviving in Bud's immediate family are daughter Jenni Lilledahl (John Sweeney); son Daniel Lilledahl (Jennifer); son-in-law Wayne Svare; and grandchildren Erik Svare and Kelsey Svare; William Sweeney and Michael Sweeney; brothers Donald and William (Pat); sister-in-law Kathy (Farrell) Keith (Tom); and numerous nieces and nephews. Bud was preceded in death by daughter Teri (Lilledahl) Svare.
      At the end of this life sketch and in honor of Bud's Norwegian heritage, there is a PS posted by Jenni Lilledahl: a video from the funeral celebration of his life. It is a very moving video, and all who knew Bud are indebted to her for sharing these brief visual moments.
     Bud and Barbara both had very deep roots in the Twin Cities area, and were married here in the midst of the great Minneapolis newspaper strike in 1961. An absence of newspaper want ads in a pre-internet world rendered most difficult the task of locating an apartment. However, what carried the day were low-key diligence and good humor, so characteristic of Bud and Barbara, and soon the young couple had a place in Minneapolis.
     Due to distance and other factors, some on the Xavier side of things could not attend the wedding of Bud and Barbara, but hoped to visit them in Minneapolis later. Such a visit was high on the list of exciting things to do in Minneapolis, for it was clear from family letters and postcards that Bud was a man of big heart who accepted the extended Xavier family into his own, and did so in his own quiet way. 
     Bud's way included a great deal of dedication to his creative outlets of scale models and music. This became clear in first-hand fashion in 1961, as my own North Dakota family was to spend time in Minneapolis for an annual ritual: descending on relatives and friends. My father Rev. Karl Astrup Xavier, who spoke often of family connections in bewildering detail, was determined that the newly married Bud and Barbara should be treated to their own visit of a couple of hours, as part of our family descent on Minneapolis. 
     This initial meeting with Bud quickly became one of those memorable events I have carried along ever since. Here, then, was a new cousin, Bud--a most polite, low-key and quiet fellow, bound for his life work as an electrician. All of that was fine, but Bud offered something of even greater interest to me as a high school junior. Bud had built, elaborated on, and displayed a number of scale models, every one of which were of competition quality. I underscore, of competition quality, not just something to have around on a side-room shelf, with a cracked fender or crooked decal. 
     Bud also exercised his artistic talents in thousands of automobile drawings. To quote his daughter, Jenni:  
[Bud's] first "cataloged" drawing (though there were many before) was at age 12 (1950). It was a pencil drawing of a 1950 car (I cannot recall the make). He numbered it #1. From then on (for 62 years) he numbered every next new drawing. His last one was #3,386 and was in March 2012. All are numbered and indexed in binders (he was very meticulous). He did hundreds more, but some were not cataloged, and he didn't 'count' one if it was the same exact car twice.
     But there was more to this man than a deep artistic interest in cars and illustrations of them. Much more than that. Barbara, ever the gracious and social woman she is to this day, also explained at that first meeting in 1961 how Bud loved music and how he expressed his love and talent through his guitar playing. This last meant playing, often on weekends, for money: a shy man, performing on-stage with his Fender guitar, as a lead singer! Again, to quote daughter Jenni
He was mostly a fan of good ol' late 50s/early 60s rock-and-roll (Buddy Holly, Everly Brothers and some later stuff like Dire Straits, Elton John, etc.) and Country Western (Chet Atkins, early Willy Nelson, Johnny Cash).
     At that first 1961 meeting, as Barbara brought to the fore Bud's abilities on the guitar, I knew this man was really bringing in new blood and ideas to our sometimes predictable and too-closed-in extended family. And good on him for that.
     So, much of the meaning of a new cousin-in-law then became clear, as Bud was a proven "cool" guy. And, of course, Barbara was already long-established in her role as a cousin of a special category, as the daughter of Bjarne, who had died in December of 1944, of battle wounds while in serving in Patton's 3rd Army in France during World War II. To put a ribbon on things, I make bold to say we have all benefited from the years of generous hospitality from Barbara's mother, Violet, and her step-father, George Farrell. Violet and George had for years repeatedly opened their hearts and doors for on-going visits from the oftimes numerically overwhelming Xaviers.
     Over the passage of years, Bud was engaged in a long career as electrician at the University of Minnesota, enrolled in the Electrical Union, IBEW Local 292. Bud also served in the Reserves of the U.S. Marine Corps. For many of those years, Barbara worked in a nearby bank office. They worked hard and raised their family.
     Bud and Barbara were open to maintaining various connections with the extended Xavier family. In this regard, I recall the 25th Wedding Anniversary get-together at Bud and Barbara's home, where several of us renewed acquaintance with Barbara's sister, Kathy (Farrell) Keith, and husband Tom. That was a very good day, and included attendance by least one Pacific Coast Xavier family, that of Alvin and Borghild (Xavier) Selid.
     As in any family there have been days that were not so good, including the challenges of illness for both Bud and Barbara, as well as that of their daughter, Teri (Lilledahl) Svare. Teri died young of cancer, leaving her husband, Wayne, with a very young Erik and Kelsey. Here is where Bud and Barbara and their family rose to the challenge, carrying on for Wayne, Erik, and Kelsey, and also for many years in charitable work with Gilda's Club, Twin Cities, to honor Teri's memory.
     Let us take time upon reading this to take stock of the years Bud shared with us, to the memory and honor of Bud. Low-key, quiet, even on occasion painfully shy, Bud was a man who cared deeply about his family and friends, worked hard, worked well, and lived to see grandchildren. His life was a worthy life, and so we are called on to remember him and to carry on our connections with his family. Requiescat In Pace, Rest in Peace, cousin Bud.
  • Here is Jenni's P.S.:
    Jenni Lilledahl

    P.S. at my dad's Celebration  we had a slideshow of about 50 photos spanning his life. Underneath, we played this beautiful Norwegian folk song to honor my dad's Norwegian heritage (not Saami, but Norsk nonetheless). Then, later in the service, my two sons William and Michael read the English words to this song. It was very nice. I'll attach the words, as they speak to my dad's style (friendship vs. big words). My dad's family was from the Trondheim area, as far as I know, and they took the family farm / village name (Lilledahl) when coming to US.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPtVeIbAbs4
    Give me your hand.doc open ·download


    Sources:

    Jenni Lilledahl to John E. Xavier, Facebook messages, January, 2013. Jenni shared generously of family time and information for the preparation of this life sketch.
    Lilledahl Family,  "In Celebration of Charles 'Bud' Lilledahl" (Bulletin for Service of Celebration of Life), January 31, 2013.
    Chester "Chet"Habberstad Jr., The Kamrud Tree (Underwood, MN: C. Habberstad Jr., 1981), pp. 35-42. Page 39 includes photos of Bjarne with Barbara in approximately 1942, and of Barbara and Bud with their young family, approximately1980. We will try to get those photos into the blog.
    L.T. Larson, Pastor, "Memorial Service" [For Bjarne Xavier], Immanuel Lutheran Church Bulletin (February 11, 1945). Also, reprinted in Habbertad, p. 38. Rev. L.T. Larson was a brother-in-law of Bjarne's sister, Anna (Xavier) Larson.
    John E. Xavier, "Saami-Americans in General George S. Patton's Third Army, 1944-45: Sgt. Peter L. Xavier and 2nd Lt. Bjarne K. Xavier," article posted in A Saami-American Experience: The Extended Xavier Family.  Open blog site for viewers: http://xavierfamily-xavijohn.blogspot.com/